Twin Flames – Chapter One: Theoretical story

This story is based on real life experiences mixed abit of fantasy and subsequent research. This was one of the most torturous experiences I have had in my lifetime, at the same time, one of the most enlightening.

England, July 2013.
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It was a great day, I was living in one of the posher areas of Greater London. Namely Banstead. Just 4 km’s away lives most of UK’s soccer teams players, in Kingswood.

It was magical, how did I get here? This was somewhat unreal. I came from Sønderborg Denmark just two months ago.. I had never planned this, I never wanted this, well yeah, who doesn’t, but it never crossed my mind, that is what I am trying to say.

Flashback 2 years.
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Two years prior I landed a customer with a relatively huge demand in comparison to the amount of people he employed. I was an IT-System Architect. Windows Domain, email etc with storage solutions based on Linux and ZFS. I will not go into technical details, needless to say, I sold the guy a system with a value of 100.000$ by his own calculations for the price of 12.000$ He was happy, and he had good reason to. The following two years he had 0 system crashes. None…. nothing fatal! His janitor even removed half of the network cables from the rack the system was mounted in. It was a 2x vmware 2x ZFS replicating block device storage setup. The customers servers and applications continued to run. I got emails with alarms that something had went horribly wrong. I notified the customer who said oh yeah… the janitor had been doing stuff down there….

Yeah, the janitor definitely had been doing “stuff” down there… 9 network cables, seemingly random had been somehow removed from the port they were in. Thankfully, the IT system guy (me) had labeled all the ends with the corresponding switch ports so that if one fell out, it was easy to see the 19 on the cable fits 19 on the switch. As such, I did not have to drive 90 km to plug the 9 cables in myself and charge the customer 2 hours driving (back and forth) and 5 minuttes plugging the cable in. Instead, I charged the customer 1 hour and he plugged them in himself as the IT guy that built the system was so nice and label everything…  Sure I would have made more money, but if my customer sees me charge him 3 hours to plug in 5 cables… I don’t know, my consciounce kicks in there somehow….

This customer ended up starting a company in england and invited me to London to be the head of IT-Hardware. My company agreed to take on the task and negotated a fair deal. 15.000 DKK a month salary. 1700 pounds or 3000 USD with housing, food and everything else house keeperwise taken care of. This meant that I did not have to clean the house. I did not have to clean my clothes. I sadly had to shower alone though 😦 Oh and then there was the Mercedes C-Class available. Steering wheel in the WRONG side but, that was not a problem until I had to deliver one of my interns to Stanstead Airport.. That will be a side story!

Back to London, End of flashback
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I was the beginning of july, I woke up in sweat. I had the weirdest dream. The English Boss didn’t care for the project. That was the main topic of the dream. I felt this was real. There was something about this dream that I just could not shake. It was different from any other dream I had ever had. It was kind of a cartoon. There was a waterfall in the servers we needed for the project here in England… waterfall in servers…. BAD! It was a very wierd dream. I remembered, half a year prior I had written the Intern, who happens to be one of my best friends… Dude.. I think this guy is doing some sort of tax evasion in Enlgand. Needless to say, I got more suspicious. This in itself was more than suspicious…. I had never had this strong feeling after a dream before.

There was nothing more I wanted than to stay in Banstead, Surrey, England. I had fallen in love with the huge uncut bushes, the 100 foxes and the 100 squirrels!. I lived in this house:
Capture

Next chapter: “Dreams turn to reality”

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Itchy Beard!

What the fuck is it with beards and the apparantly infectious itching that comes with the beard reaching a certain lenght? A few days later things are fine, but first… TORTURE!

Your chin might be itching abit at first. Then the throat follows a few hours later. Eventually the entire chest area from naval and up is itching. You cut the facial hair, the chest hair stops itching…?!?!?!? What? Are they somehow friends?

 
I find beard that reaches the itching stage due to lazyness or sheer desire, is amongst one of the most troublesome experiences male humans must endure from time to time.

Why does beard start to itch after aprox. 12 days? It will then go on itching for another week until it stops itching.

Usually, should the beard hit that lenght, I will go out of my way (seriously, I will leave you, my family and my girlfriend) to find a trimmer. Even in the middle of the night!

My very first real pet….. and the chaos…

Well, 1½ months ago I went to visit an aquaintance, Suad. Suad had a mom cat and 5 kitten, possibly more. He asked me if I had seen another guy, Rari, with a kitten. I said no, I just saw him, it is my neighbour, but I did not see any cat. He kept on rambling about the cat for a while, I knew nothing of it. He seemed kinda angry that his cat was kidnapped or uhm… catnapped.

Eventually I returned home, Rari came over carrying a cat! Aha… that’s what’s all the fuzz is about! We talked back and forth and it turned out, Rari was supposed to buy the kitten from Suad eventually. Rari just felt it had to be sooner. I told him in a funny sarcastic tone, a joke, that “I also want one!”

He told me, can you keep the cat here tonight as I cant have it in my appartment? Not being particularly fond of cats at all, I said yes for reasons unknown. He looked quite quite. 2½ months old kitten. I said yes. That turned out to be a big big mistake short term. Long term – well stay tuned till the end.

The first night he wasn’t mine.

It was time to sleep, the cat had gotten some food and water and was seemingly happy about that. As I went to bed, so did the cat, curious about my every move. I laid down in the bed only to find the cat attempting to crawl under my blanket, I was affraid I would roll on to him so I kept removing him or preventing him from entering. Eventually he placed himself on my head. I now had a purr-generator and speaker directly above my ear. Dat thing is loud cat! oh, Rari’s son called the kitten “Bruno” which means “brown-one” The cat is grey with black stripes and very a little brownish patch.

Every hour, Bruno would move, which in turn woke me up. I did not sleep very well the first night, and I thought it would be the only night as the cat was not intended to become mine, and honestly, I did not want a cat. He was cool in so many other ways that overshadowed the bad-sleep-issues.

The day after Rari arrived and picked up the cat. I thought that was it. No more cat. However, he returned with it shortly after stating the cat had scratched his six year old son and attacked his 2 year old daughter so he did not want the cat. “Now he is yours.” I was like aa whataaaat? But you said yesterday you also wanted a cat. I did not put up much of a fight and accepted the cat.

Second night of no sleep

Ra was all over the place at night time. It would appear, this kitten has not found its preferable position, so he moves around alot, waking me every time. He sleeps on my eyes, ears and whatever else “me” is sticking out of the blanket. It was another bad nights sleep.

11 days of bad sleep

This continued for 11 days and eventually, the lack of sleep affected my mood. It had already been affected after 2 days. I found myself getting more and more annoyed by the bullshit cats do 50% of the time they are awake, which is around 2% of the time. To sum it up, a cats life is:
1% destroy stuff hunt stuff
1% Eat stuff
98% Sleep

Bedroom becomes of limits.

After day 11 I had enough of not sleeping properly. Even napping during daytime would be interrupted by Mr. Ra, I blocked the doorway (with no door but a drape) with some of my solar panels to prevent the cat from entering. He struggled getting in, miawing like crazy…. Oh well, I slept 😀

The next morning the cat was waiting for me, jumping into my lap as soon as I sat down, miawing and purring. All the sadness from not being able to sleep on my heard turned to happiness to see me.

This continues for  a week aproximately. A week in which he learns the meaning of “No”

No! means No! Yes… really NO!

The cat would claw at things, beg for food, steal food of my plate and attempt to take it directly from the BBQ, that cost him his “above eye whiskers” on the left eye. He now only had 3 whiskers on the right eye. He now stays away from the BBQ..

Of course I yelled “NO!” at him each time he would start scratching stuff. Obviously he did not understand me as he kept clawing at my couch. I did what a cat mom would do, grab in neck skin and lift him someplace else. While doing so I said NO…NO…NO

I put him down, he walks back to the couch and claws at it agian…… ARGH!
Repeating the neck-move did not prove particularly effective the 2 times I did it. I got pissy with him. Last time, Neck grab…NO..NO…splash half a liter of water in his face…NO NO put him down. He ran outside, very wet and never clawed at that paricular couch again. 5 couches and chairs remaining…

I had to repeat the water thing a few times with various other issues. Such as exiting the door to the outside when I did not want it. I had to move him away from the door each time I wanted to exit my home without him. So eventually I taught him, to not cross the doorway when I say no.

He also exits my bedroom if I say no the moment his head pops up under the drapes. He then tries to sneak in when I am not looking, well he did try that, he stopped, because, he got wet each time 😀

Now, he asks permission to enter in his own passive way. He pokes his head through the drape and searches for eye contact. If I look at him saying no, he leaves, If I look at him saying nothing, he enters. Quite practical. He no longer sneaks under the bed if I don’t spot him.

What has the cat learned?

Well, he now backs away from whatever he is doing if I say no. I have to say it three times. First time the cat looks at me, then I stare at him and say no…..NO! and then he purrs the funniest “bah… screw you for not letting me destroy you couch” -purr and runs away.

I can open the door and go in and out, he will stop and not run out unless I carry him 5 cm over the doorstep. Quite convenient! If I say no while opening the door he does his purr and walks away.

He comes when I call him. I said the word “Ra” while rattling his favorite food infront of him. Each time I yelled “Ra” he would react, eventually also without food.

If I am in the garden and he is not to be seen, if I call him and he is within range he will arrive in 2-3 minuttes after calling. Usually leaping from some bush 😀

My neighbours eyed the cat in disbelief when I called him to me, it is apparantly not normal for a cat to come on command. What do I know about cats though? Not much so who am I to argue whats normal or not with a cat? The cat had been in my neighbors garden all day long playing with her daughter. when I called him he left 🙂 Good dog!

Where the fuck is my……. I am sure I put it here…..

Now it, time to teach the cat to play fetch… maybe he can fetch all the stuff that he is hoarding under my couch…. He grabs random objects and moves them under the couch. In the beginning I did not know he was doing this. So, suddenly I would miss an object unable to find it. The last place I would store stuff is under my couch so it was the last place I looked. What did I find when I finally looked in there?

-toiletpaper roll confetti…. yes, he stole my last TP roll and tore it up. It caused a moment of stress when visiting the toilet.. I mean you sit there, you just put on the last roll the day before and you know there is TP… and then there is not. Naturally you think “huh? did I not put a roll there yesterday? I am certain!…”

-2 lighters
-a few socks
-gnawed bones
-a mouse trap
-some clawed up cigarettes
-a half smoked homerolled cigarette resembling a joint.
plus some other random things that had suddenly gone lost..

So, the next lecture is: “Dear Ra, why do you not go check your stash and fetch me a lighter?”

End of part 1 the cat made good use of the joint he found.

ONE USB port…..

Well, recently I bought an Acer aspire switch one 10 or switch 10, not sure what the name is and it is not so important.

What is important, is the anoying fact that it only has ONE USB PORT!!! That means if I want to browse the internet with my USB dongle, I cannot use my mouse! Of course I could go buy a USB hub, but where is the fun in that?

The solution was found in an Acer Aspire ONE! Yeah, apparantly the first one of their netbook series. It has no monitor. It was broken when I got it so I ripped it off and cut the cables. VGA out is fine!

I have one lying around. It is probably 10 years old, has a 32 bit intel Atom, a wireless network card and THREE!!!! USB PORTS! THREEE!!!!! Yes, thats more like it!

It has no display. It was broken when I got it so I ripped it off and cut the cables. VGA out is fine! The acer is “just” a keyboard with a battery 😀

I Installed debian on the old acer, using a cheap 8gb USB stick as the boot drive, plugged in my 4G Modem, configured it as a router for both ethernet and wireless.

Now I can browse the internet on my new acer by using the old acers internet connection… AND use my mouse! HURRAH!

The shit geeks come up with to solve problems sometimes…… :p

How I avoided getting shot by knowing a little Arabic!

Allright, so a language saved me from getting shot today!!

I was sitting around in a garden when a girl came up and started looking at me. She started smiling while waving a gun around.. A guy she was with told her something in Arabic, she slowly pointed the gun towards me!

I assumed the guy ordered the girl to shoot me me, softly I let out my best arabic “no” which sounds somewhat like when you say “laa” with a strange knick at the end of the laa sound.

She lowered the waterpistol! I had saved myself from being drenched by a two year old daughter of my arabic neighbour!

I told the guy: “Phew, i guess my arabic saved me there…”
We both giggled and agreed!

Angry will land an Airbus 320 plane. (Passenger lands plane) Part #1 “Precursor”

Well, I am not entirely a pilot…yet, however, I know a great deal about airplanes.

In approximately 3 months, I will test wether or not I am able to land an Airbus A320 without the proper training. Why without the proper training one might ask…

To test the feasability of a passenger with a fligh sim compassion landing a plane. That is the reason. To check if it is possible. I have claimed (without knowing for sure) for 15 years, that I could land a plane if the pilots were no longer available for the job. It is time to put my mouth where my joystick is and actually test that. If you found that sounding abit wrong, I agree with you…

“You known more about these things than 99.9% of the worlds population, and you are still scared of flying?” -Brett the Intern, 2013

I explained to him that It felt like I was wetting my pants aproximately 3 hours, and up ontil the flight occoured…

Abit of history. When I was two years old (1981), I went on an airplane to Malorca.
When I was 15 years old (1994) I controlled a glider (which had an engine) for aproximately 10 minuttes. It kept having an engine, but I controlled the plane for 10 minuttes 😉

Already at that time, I had ample amount of hours on my old C64 with Chuck Yeagers advanced flight trainer, F117 Stealth fighter and alot of other plane related games.

Microsoft flight simulator came along… I went crazy… My room became a cockpit!
My television was removed from its “television position” and used as a monitor. Old keyboards had stickers on them explaining what they do… It looked somewhat like this.. Actually, it looked exactly like this 🙂No automatic alt text available.No automatic alt text available.
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Itteration 17550446 (Lost TV-show reference)

Eventually, I replaced the 40″ and the 20″ with three 24″ I do not have imagry of the 3 monitor setup, I only have imagery of the first two monitor setup, with Saitek pro fligh controls.

It appeared like this: (Please note, this was a tech test, not a flight test, and I am well aware that I am clipping some trees which, would most likely not be survivable)

The setup is run by THREE computers… not one.

-The two monitors displaying the A2A Spitfire is controlled by ONE computer running Microsoft Flight Simulator X
-The laptop displaying the basic instruments (one laptop, one computer :))
-A crap computer displaying the monitor between my legs displaying radar and other stuff the Spitfire did not have 🙂

It looked like this… (Actually, you can wait for that untill part #2) 🙂 or not…

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zKFemN2kQOM

World of Warships – I quit… it has turned into a money maker.

Update 0.6.3 is a carrier nerf, once again!

Who am I?

I am #37 as of this time in the 6th Season Ranger leaderboard in Avrg. planes destroyed.
I am #22 as of this time in the 6th Season Ranger leaderboard in max planes destroyed
I am #14 as of this time in the 6th Season Ranger leaderboard in max damage caused.
I am #2 as of forever in the FIFTH season, Lexingon in max damage dealt.
Verify: wows-numbers.com

-We’re disabling the “Alt”-attack feature for tier IV and V carriers — this change should bring better balance to carriers at lower tiers, where most warships have weaker or non-existent AA defenses

#Morons… that is how it was ships simply did not have AA! The reason CV’s are “overpowered” is because people have developed what is normally considered “skill” now, you leave it all up to an AI… How about having warships just shoot their guns without aiming aswell? It would balance things!!!! Sure….. How about having the automated torpedo lead indicator removed from torpedo capable-ships? 😀 As if…

-Fighters may now be removed from a fight with enemy aircraft via an “Alt” attack — when you withdraw a squadron from action this way, it’ll always lose one aircraft. (This rule will apply to all carriers except Saipan.)

#This will not apply to Saipan? are you kidding me? An already overpowered carrier is being buffed once more? Of course… there would be no incentive to buy that piece of “pay-to-win” shit if you morons didn’t put in more goodies… Where is the skill requirements for playing pay-to-win? Nowhere.. You pay… you win!

-Once a carrier is destroyed, her squadrons will maintain their position after fulfilling a particular order rather than returning to the carrier’s final sinking location

#Hurray! You used logic for once! Not enough to keep me engaged though!

The developers of this game has one thing in mind.. Making money. And that, is a very bad thing! I will not adhere to this bullshit any longer! Feel free to delete my account, you know who I am!

Angry Administrator and Thunderf00t vs. Beautifulgirlbydana (Nuclear Science vs. stupid)

A few years ago, I was watching this guy on Youtube, he put up some outrageous claims about radiation, radioactive isotopes and the Fukushima disaster.

I decided I wanted to shove abit of science his way and he completely freaked out 😀
He responded like this:

idiot fukushima.png
Link to his irrational rant:

Thunderf00t came 1 year later and set the record straight once and for all 🙂
Link to his video: https://youtu.be/d2PxY-wOrI8?t=158